it's been a long time......

Anything I write will make me seem mean, petty, and generally not very nice.  So, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything.  Instead I'll share one of my favorite poems, memorized way back in college where it was part of a art piece entitled "Holocaust" hanging on the wall of the student union. It is attributed to a child in a Nazi death camp.  If a child can write this under those circumstances, I can certainly make it through today. 

Only in a Latin family would you need to send this message I just received from my niece: I've received many inquires regarding the real start time of the wedding on Saturday. Please note, it IS really AT 3PM. No Latin time. At 3, she's walking down the aisle. Plan travel accordingly. We can't wait to see everyone and share this special day! XO

Our refrigerator has been living on borrowed time for a long time. The vegetable bins freeze the vegetables and are unusable while the rest of the fridge just barely stays cold enough. The motor makes horrible noises like someone is trying to claw their way out and the seal on the door needs replacing. We knew we needed a new refrigerator but our kitchen design precludes having a french door refrigerator which is all that seems to be available in the smaller width that we need for our space. So, we just keep hoping the noise goes away and we keep the vegetables on the shelf, not in the bin, and since I go to the store every other day it really doesn't matter that we aren't using its full potential. The dishwasher, on the other hand, has needed only one small repair to the pump in all its many years and got the dishes clean and spotless and dry and although the earthquake a couple of years ago made the door a little hard to close I have a working technique for taking care of that. So the big surprise was when I opened the dishwasher to find that water was pouring in a full blast and was ready to spill out onto the floor. Apparently the valve had failed. Not the appliance we had expected to fail. So, since the dishwasher is about 15 years old it seemed cost effective to replace it instead of repair it this time, especially since a new one will be more efficient. And since the refrigerator will need to be replaced sooner rather than later it made sense to buy they both at the same time. This is where the crazy starts.... After days of searching websites, manufacturers sites, phone calls, home renovation forums, etc there is apparently only ONE refrigerator costing less than $8,000 in all of the world that will fit in our space and allow us to actually open the door to something approximating 90 degrees. The New Zealanders to the rescue with a Fisher and Paykel cabinet depth, 30 inch, bottom freezer, non-french door will work. I've carefully reviewed all the installation and engineering diagrams and think we have about 1/4 inch to spare. Our other option, which we were seriously considering, is ripping down the wall and remodeling the area which seems a bit excessive just to get an extra 6 inches for a refrigerator. Next up is picking a replacement dishwasher, which is where this odessey started. It seems that the stainless steel finish on the Fisher and Paykel is a slightly different color than the other brands and the only F and P dishwasher is one that is actually two drawers. I've never considered that so now I'm back to doing the research on dishwashers, which I had assumed would be pretty simple as my only requirement was I can get my plates into it and it is quiet. Now I'm thrust into a whole new appliance hell. And I know my husband will say "since we are replacing the fridge, and dishwasher why don't we replace the microwave too so they will all be stainless steel." Just you wait. Luckily my cooktop is black glass so it goes with everything and my double-oven is the only 24 inch double oven left in the world and it is also black glass so will not need to be replaced. I think when it comes to kitchen appliances I live in the wrong country. I LOVE looking at the appliance stores in Spain and seeing all the small, efficient appliances and I want to bring them all home.

learning French

When in college I thought I might be a language major, until I realized that I am totally incapable of speaking a foreign language.  Despite living in Spain for two years as a teenager my speaking ability in Spanish is at a survival Spanish level, although I can read reasonably well and can hold forth on the concept of honor in 14th century Spanish literature with the best of them.  Even though I was hopeless at speaking a foreign language I loved the idea of it and so I plunged into intro to French.  I lasted two semesters until the morning I was rendered totally mute when called on in a Spanish class which immediately followed a French class and realized I was unable to even pronounce a word of English.   At that point I realized I needed to be a literature, not language student, and I should just give up on French.  Especially since my almost two semesters of French  had only gotten me to the level of counting and saying "my name is J..." and "I don't understand."  It was pretty clear that French was a lost cause.

Now, move forward almost 50 years.  We are going to Paris and I really do need at least a basic tourist level of French to get some directions, find the bathroom, and read a menu, so we've started Duolingo on our phones.  I remain hopeless.  I can do the reading, can't conjugate any verbs and have decided that if I can just put a few nouns in sequence they'll figure it out.  I can't get the speaking thing down at all.  All the words sound the same regardless of their endings.  The plurals and singulars are all pronounced the same as are all the verb endings.  I believe that the way to speak is to pronounce the first part of the word and then just THINK the ending without saying anything.  Someone recommended that you push your lips out a la Donald Trump and pronounce the words from the front of your mouth, not the center or back.  That helps a bit only because I can't really pronounce anything that way so it sounds very French although it may not actually be any word.

Last night we watched a French movie on Netflix and if I had played a drinking game where I took a drink whenever I understood a word I would have remained sober. Luckily I could recognize  "bonjour', "merci", "d'accord", "de rein", and "pardon" which may be the most important words for me.

April in Paris

Just before Christmas I was sitting at the kitchen table looking at Facebook on my phone when I saw an Iceland Air ad for a flash sale with RT fares to Europe at just over $600.  Absolutely too good to be true!  But it was true and I snagged two RT tickets to Paris for around $1260, which is less than the price of one ticket in the on-season.  So off to Paris we go in April for 9 days...... We've never been to Paris and my French is limited to saying "my name is ...." and "I don't understand"  but being fearless I booked us an apartment in the 2nd arrondisment and we will just rely on the kindness of strangers to make it all work.

I've been doing my research and welcome any suggestions anyone has on funny, special little things to see or do. We are spending all of our time in Paris and the local area so hope to not be so rushed we can't do some of the off-the-beaten path things we enjoy.

And now I'm starting on my packing list - colors are black, naturally since it's Paris, and dark plum. Today I went to the outlet mall to return a Christmas gift sweater and I scored a fabulous sweater jacket in black and white that is oh, so Parisian!  and a scarf to go with it!  A new plum colored shirt is on order from Eddie Bauer (you know, like my favorite shirt but with long roll-up sleeves) so I feel like I'm already packed and ready to go!

holiday review

It was a spectacular holiday season!  All children (now that they are in their 30's I really should find a word other than children but.....) were home and made things very special.  We started with Noche Buena which was made even more special by the unbelievable weather - we had the porch open and people were out on the deck sitting around the picnic tables and I had the air conditioner on in the house!  It was close to 80+ degrees here and HUMID!  I was wearing a sleeveless top and sandals.  It was the Florida Christmas my husband always wants.  Other years people have had to walk through piles of snow just to get to the house.   This was the first Christmas ever where we all hung out on the back porch into late into the night.

Then all too soon the children had to leave and the house was quiet.  I actually enjoy the opportunity to get things cleaned up and stop providing meals. I'd forgotten how much people can eat.  When the children were growing up I always had 5 people for every meal, and then usually had an extra nanny, child or my parents at the table.  I could whip up dinner for 8 on no notice.  Now, buying and cooking those quantities doesn't come as easily.

We had a quiet New Years Eve followed by a brunch and an open house at friends homes here in our neighborhood.  We walked from one party to the next on New Years Day.  The following day was my favorite of the whole holiday - the day we took the decorations down!  I actually hate Christmas decorations and celebrate when they can be put back into the crawl space until next year.

Finally, there was a cocktail party at a friend's home on Sunday evening to cap off the holiday season. We all laughed that we were going to have to have a detox since we'd all partied so much over the holiday season.  I think that fasting should also be part of our January plans although I tend not to eat much when I've cooked the food so I didn't actually gain any weight.  Now I've thrown out all the cake, cookies, and pastry and frozen all the meats for future meals so we are back to normal foodwise.

And finally yesterday, the weather got cold cold cold so I made plane reservations for Florida to escape the cold.

Happy Winter!

Note to self

Do not attempt to speak Spanish after just completing a French lesson.  You will be rendered totally mute and speak a gibberish that is not understandable in any language.

note to self

Explain to husband the difference between seedless and seeded grapes.  Argh.

the annual Noche Buena update

Around 40 people are attending.  I have 17 pounds of boneless pork loin in the oven, 160 meatballs simmering, a billion Christmas cookies and guava pasteries.  Still to do are plantains and rice.

Then final set up of cheese, crackers, nuts, grapes, chex mix, candies, etc.  Then ice and drinks.

Oh, what have I forgotten?  Oh yes, I asked my husband to vacuum the stairs and clean the downstairs bathroom.  So I still have to do that since he just finished his nap and then left to go with the girls to get some lunch at their favorite local fast food place and to run their errands with them. The girls forgot that their assignment was to pick up some additional trays and an extra rice cooker from my friend Margie so I'll run down the street to get those.   And he purchased the yuca at the restaurant this morning instead of at the last minute like I had asked so I have to figure out how to reheat it along with everything else that has to be in the oven.

Feliz Navidad.

my ultimate, tested packing list

As we were preparing to go to Spain I pulled out my old packing list, and reviewed all the forums with packing tips, and carefully planned my clothes and personal items so that they would fit into a very, very small roller bag and a modest size backpack.  I know from experience that with good planning I can keep my clothing to a minimum but this time I really wanted to test my limits.  And I still took too much.  But I also kept track of everything I used and now have refined the ultimate packing list.  This trip was almost four weeks and we were on the go with no more than three nights in any location and often only one night so it made the laundry issue important.

1 - super Eddie Bauer travel adventure shirt - dark blue.  Washes like a champ and dries overnight in even the most damp conditions

1 - long sleeved shirt - I used a tee shirt and I only wore it twice.  Next time I'd find an Eddie Bauer long sleeve travel adventure shirt and then I could also roll up the sleeves.

1 - lightweight cardigan sweater -light grey  I carried this around all the time and wore it everyday at some point.

1 - heavy cotton tunic sweater. - periwinkle blue.   This one was big enough that I could wear it over both my shirt and my cardigan sweater, which I sometimes did when we had cold rainy evenings

1 - Columbia lightweight vest - NOT polarfleece. Dark grey  It was awesome.  I could wear it with everything and the extra layer was perfect

1 - pashmina scarf - bright blue.  I kept it folded into a ziplock bag and carried it in my purse at all times  I could pull it out as needed for an extra layer.

1 - camisole - for an extra under layer

2 - bras

3 underwear - I found some microfiber from Jockey that easily dried overnight

3 socks  - bamboo/rayon and dried overnight

2 pair black pants - one was a nice Eileen Fisher pair of casually dressy  pull on pants with a drawstring and could be dressed up if needed;  one was a pair of Eddie Bauer adventure pants that I lived in.  They also had the bottom tabs so you wanted you could turn them into crops or capri pants but I never did. Both were quick dry but I only washed the Eileen Fisher pair..  

1 - belt.  I didn't use it but was just about ready to when we headed for home.  As the pants start to sag it's nice to have the belt to hold them up.

1 - nice scarf that could be used with the two sweaters as dressier outfits;  and 2 pair of earrings.   I didn't use any of this but these are small items that could be needed in a dressier situation.

1 pair comfortable lace-up shoes with heavier sole for walking

1 pair comfortable slip-on shoes with heavy sole for walking

1 pair comfortable sandals.  Only used these a couple of times but in different weather might have used them more

1 nice rain jacket.  I found one at Costco and it was wonderful, except not waterproof!  Oh well, it was also the remnant of a tropical storm and raining torrents so I can't entirely blame it.  And it did roll up into a nice little pocket so it packed easily and maybe once I put some Scotchguard on it.....

1 rain/sun hat.  I had one that did double duty and we weren't in an area where I needed a sun hat so it worked.  If I was in a hot sunny area I would buy a disposable straw hat on arrival and then dump it on my way home.

I even have my list of personal and make-up items so I can pare down when I pack next time,  And my important list of laundry items (clothes pins, parachute cord, etc) since my packing requires that you do laundry every two days.    

My goal next time is to fit in my modest size backpack and I think I can do it!

This is a picture of me at the end of our trip in the blue shirt that I wore all but two days of the trip and it still looks good.  Also the grey sweater that was always tied around my shoulders.  Oh, and the grey vest.  And my black cross-body bag that was wonderful and held just enough and not too much and had lots of pockets so nothing could get lost in it.  I should write a testimonial for the Eddie Bauer shirt. And the funny thing is after wearing it for over 3 weeks I still like it!

always wear clean underwear and leave a tidy house

I know everyone's mother taught them to wear clean underwear "because what if you were in an accident and had to go to the hospital."  And I know that we all thought "clean underwear would be the least of my worries at that point."  But my mother took it a step further, "Make sure the house is clean because what if you were dead and someone had to come into the house."  So, as part of my preparations for a month in Spain, I am frantically cleaning house.  Not that I think I'll end up dead but it is as natural a part of getting ready to go as packing a suitcase.  My friends think I'm kind of nuts, but it does give me something to do besides second guess all of my selections of clothing to pack.  

She said yes!

Some days I feel cursed

I think that all appliances are out to get me.  I'm beginning to take it personally.  Not just the appliances that I own and are in my own house but every appliance, everywhere.  Like on our trip to Spain where I was soooooo looking forward to an opportunity to do laundry at the apartment we rented half-way through our trip.  Tried to do a load, washer was broken.  And my father's dishwasher which was a nightmare to get installed and once it was finally installed and working suddenly had water backing into it from the sink.  And MY dishwasher which due to an earthquake a few years ago is just ever so slightly not straight in the cabinet and takes a special technique to get the door to close.  And my refrigerator which sounds like an airplane taking off when the compressor is running and the vegetable bins are so cold everything freezes but the milk on the shelf spoils.  And now my upstairs condo neighbor, and my good friend, has an air conditioner that is leaking into my condo.  And they are on their way to Hawaii and I have to make the arrangements and sit around waiting on the repairman to get it fixed while I am on my vacation at the beach.    Curses!

Random

Life is good here.  Summer means long evenings on the back porch, meals made of whatever can be concocted from what's in the refrigerator, and a general laziness that suits my nature.  Projects get postponed until winter when we will have to be stuck in the house (at which point they get postponed again because wouldn't summer be a much better time to do all this work?)

Last week was wonderful, and dreadful.  The Supreme Court decisions confirmed that in the end, it will all be fine.  But the horrible shooting in the Charleston church and now re-fighting the Civil War is so depressing.  As are the comments about heritage of the Confederate flag and the 1-man, 1-woman comments about gay marriage from some of my friends.  I keep breathing deep and reminding myself that they are far more likely to to change their minds if I lead them by example than if I scold them.  Lots of deep breathing involved.

My daughter and her partner have started a new adventure in Cleveland where they have both landed spectacular jobs!  My daughter is a research scientist at Cleveland Clinic and the Learner College of Medicine, and her partner is with the Case Western Reserve School of Medicine.  At least when we are old and sick we will have good resources for medical care!  They found a perfect apartment (although it is so small they had to carefully read the Mari Kondo book on the Magic of Tidying Up!) and it is in a neighborhood they are beginning to love.  Walk to coffee, walk to restaurants and bars, a beautiful city park at the the end of the street, and 2 miles from work!   They are finally settling in for the long term as these are "real" jobs and they are planning to make Cleveland their home.

Son and dear girlfriend are on a good path.  She is still looking for a permanent job but he now has a job that can support both of them until she finds a job in her field.  He travels all the time for work - they told him it would be a least 50% travel and this first year he anticipates more like 80% - and then has regattas every weekend.  Lovely girlfriend is also traveling with her current job so they only occasionally find that they are both at home at the same time.  They are in tune with one another, and both grew up in households where you learned to be independent so this works for them.

I'm looking forward to a couple of weeks at the beach and then 3+ weeks in Spain.  I can tell my father is a bit concerned about my schedule as he keeps asking me when I am leaving and how long I'll be gone.  He has a perfectly good memory so I think it is his way of expressing concern that I'm going to be gone "too long".  He will be fine while I'm gone as he has his girlfriend and his activities to keep him busy, and he'll be on vacation one of the weeks I'm in Spain.  He will not, however, have someone available to fix the TV remote when he screws it up so that is probably his biggest worry.

My flowers in the front of the house look like crap.  I plant stuff and then half of it dies, then I try to fill in with things and half of them die.  Add to that the fact that I have no good idea of what to plant and the heights listed on the plant tags and how tall they actually get are apparently totally unrelated measurements.  Two plants, both said 12-18 inches tall on the tag, one plant is now at least 3 feet tall and the other one is about 6-8 inches tall.  I'm giving into the randomness finally and if you stand on the sidewalk in front of the house and squint it looks ok,   And if you happen to know what kind of flower this is, please let me know.

Help!  What kind of flower is this?  (and please excuse the bird shit on the wall.)

Busy busy

I have had a whirlwind couple of weeks which have been just delightful!   Over Memorial Day weekend we went to Providence to attend the Master's graduation of "the lovely Sarah", our son's girlfriend.  It was a full weekend of celebration and parties.  Friday night dinner, Saturday night cookout, Sunday graduation and multiple parties, and then Monday was a lazy day to recover.  We were invited to spend the entire weekend with Sarah's father at his home in Onset, a wonderful place on the water where we could appreciate the full New England coast experience.  What a wonderful treat!

Home for less than 24 hours and I had a "ladies slumber party" at the home of a friend.  These are friends who do not live close enough for lunch so we try to make some time to see each other a couple of times a year.  This time we gathered at the home that had the pool so we sat and enjoyed the good weather, had an elegant lunch at a fancy restaurant and caught up with each other's lives. Two nights there and then back home where I got ready for....

..... the retirement party for a very close friend.  It was a wonderful celebration where all the family and friends attended and we had tons of food and wonderful weather for lots of outside seating and a real tribute to his career..

Now I'm getting ready to leave for two weeks at the beach to recover but I just sent invites for a party at the beach since we are having trouble fitting in separate dinners with friends when we come down. So the invite went out for our small group and I've started to plan the menu;  Barbecue sandwiches, corn salad, potato salad, cole slaw (because who in their right mind would eat a BBQ sandwich without cole slaw on it?), chips/dip, beer, wine, soda and some signature punch (lemon based?), and cookies for dessert.  Easy peasy!

no good deed goes unpunished

We have always been very generous in letting family and friends use our condo at the beach.  I like to have people there so if something goes wrong I'll know right away and not when I arrive to find that all the food in the fridge has rotted.  But occasionally that comes back to bite you.  This past spring break an extended family member (very extended) asked to use the condo for a family spring break trip.  I said "Certainly, Have a great time."  Mom, Dad, and three kids.  So teenage girl kid is angry one day and jerks her bathing suit off the little trellis I have on the porch for drying wet suits and towels and although the trellis is attached to the wall she manages to angrily pull it so hard is comes away from the wall and pushes a hole in the screen.  A small hole but a hole nonetheless.  And I do not want to live with a hole in my screen.  So they offer to pay for the repair.   I'm certain that they had no idea that the repair would be a major event and $240.  It's a big deal because the electric hurricane shutters had to be removed and reinstalled to be able to pull the screens.  I made the arrangements for the screen repair and while my dad was visiting the condo the repair got done.

Now, I think everything is good until I get the phone call from my dad this morning.  One of the shutters on the porch closed as usual but on the other one the motor runs but the shutter does not close.  I said "Don't worry about it.  I'll call the man who repaired the screen to see if maybe it got off the track when he was working."  This is the best case scenario because if the shutter is actually broken it is illegal for them to repair it as no longer meets building code and I'll have to have it replaced with new shutters that meet current code .  The hole in the screen then will cost me about $10,000.

Hopefully my repair person can go to the condo tomorrow to look it over.  Luckily I do trust him to be honest in his assessment.  I've used him for lots of jobs and he's always been very good and had fair prices for his work.  But because he is so honest I know that if it is actually broken he won't break the law and go ahead and fix it.  He doesn't do new installs of shutters so it isn't any incentive for him to not tell the truth to sell me new shutters.  At this point all I can do is shudder when I think about it.

You gotta love it when you call your 93 year old father on the phone while he is on vacation and he tells you he just got a pedicure and that "they did a pretty good job."  Now I'm off to get my mani/pedi so I can keep up.

While reading the Washington Post this morning  (Dear commencement speakers of 2015: You look fabulous!) I had a revelation on the fundamental difference between what makes a conservative and what makes a liberal. This article referenced two books,  "The World is Waiting For You:  Graduation Speeches to Live By From Activists, Writers, and Visionaries" and "Remembering Who We Are:  A Treasure of Conservative Commencement Addresses."  This pretty much sums it up - Liberals see the possibilities while conservatives are afraid of losing what they have.  Looking forward vs looking backward.

It plays out even in the workplace.  I remember clearly a large and very risky project we were undertaking.  One of the other management team members would talk to me asking "What if we fail?"  and I kept replying "What if we succeed? "  And he was never really convinced.  And he changed jobs and left the project.  And we succeeded to great acclaim!

We need to reframe this fundamental difference somehow so that the conservatives are less afraid of loss and failure and more able to see the possibilities.

The list

• Monday, May 18 - Pharmacy @ 9 am, commissary  - buy COFFEE!
• Tuesday, May 19 - LaV to Walter Reed
• Wednesday, May 20 - Get stuff ready for Providence trip - Gift for Sarah, and hostess gift for her dad.  Maybe my latest shipment of wine for him?    Yes.   Daddy arrives back from Florida.  do laundry, etc.  mani/pedi, library
• Thursday, May 21 - Groceries, etc for Daddy.  mow lawn, pick up dry cleaning, tailor
• Friday, May 22 - Drive to Providence
• Weekend FUN!
• Tuesday, May, 26 - Drive home
• Wednesday, May 27 - Daddy groceries, etc. Mow lawn,  Laundry, etc.   Pack and go to Judy's for house party.  Take wine and cheese etc.  Don't forget blowup bed and sheets, blankets and bathing suit!.  Call for shuttle for June 3.
• Thursday, May 28 - Party with friends.  Fancy lunch.  Sleep over
• Friday, May 29 -  Opthalmalogist appointment 8:15 am!   Stop back by Judy's to get my stuff.
• Saturday, May 30 - Pool opens!  
• Sunday, May 31 - Daddy breakfast
• Monday, June 1 - Clean house, daddy shopping, etc
• Tuesday, June 2 - NOTHING PLANNED!  Get ready to leave for Florida.  MOW LAWN
• Wednesday, June 3 - Cocoa Beach!

My Mother's Day gift was a visit from my son.  He has a new job as a sales representative for a marine hardware wholesale company and his territory at its very southern reaches includes the D.C. area.  He had sales calls set up in Annapolis for this week so he arrived Saturday for a visit.  He had no idea that it was Mother's Day when he arranged this but he gets my credit anyway.  We had a nice quick visit and it is such a treat to my father to have him around.  They are both sailors and talk for hours about stuff that I do not understand.  My son is so lovingly patient with my father and treats all these conversations as though they are the most important things in the world.

Grandson and Grandfather  at Washington Sailing Marina - Two sailors talking sailing