Am I a pushover or is this just my way of redistributing wealth?

I live in a suburban neighborhood where the neighborhood kids don't bother to mow lawns, rake leaves, or shovel snow.  Their parents all have "people" for that so we don't rely on the kids for any of our jobs.  I usually do my own work, except for raking leaves which for some reason I just hate,  as I like the exercise and being outside.  My husband rakes, cleans gutters, and does general lawn clean up.  I mow and shovel snow. 

Occasionally I get a knock at the door and it is someone looking for work.  We live in a very ethnically and economically diverse neighborhood so I get people of all languages coming to my door.  Usually, through a series of limited English and lots of pointing we reach an agreement on what I want done. Usually what I want done is nothing that I even considered until the knock at the door but I want to encourage and help anyone that has the initiative to get out and find work.  In the few cases where I turn someone down I feel bad about and try to figure out what I should have done.

Today we had our first snowfall - just an inch or two.  I was just getting ready to go outside and shovel when there came a knock at the door.  A middle aged African American man with a giant coal shovel looking for work.  I first said no, I didn't need anyone to clear the walks and driveway.  Then I realized that he wouldn't be out here if he didn't need the money and I asked him what he would charge to do the walk and the driveway.  He responded that he would accept whatever I paid.  I offered $25 and he got to work. 

My husband will be both annoyed and happy when he gets home.  Annoyed that I had someone do a job that he or I could have done, and happy that he doesn't have to do it.  I would actually have enjoyed the bit of work but I also wanted to let this man earn some money.  It's a puzzle for me each time this happens.

Holiday wrap-up

Everything is now put away and I only have left to throw out all the stale cookies (my husband somehow thinks he will eat them so keeps protecting them from the garbage can).  It went by way to fast and lasted way too long.  Isn't  that how it is with lots of grand events?

Son and lovely girlfriend spent Christmas with us.  We missed having our daughter with us but it is also nice to have them one at a time occasionally.  Lovely girlfriend really is lovely - beautiful and nice and you can tell cares so much for our son.  I hope to spend many more events with her.

The holidays started with Noche Buena where we had a nice small crowd, around 20-25, so it was easier for me to talk to people instead of just be the master of ceremonies.  We had some new folks this year which really added to the event.  It's always funny that our Noche Buena party is looked forward to by so many of our Jewish friends!  And it love it when people meet new people and find they have so much in common. This year it was two artist friends who discovered one another and common interests.  (and I love saying "artist friends" as I have no artistic talent but these people both make their living as artists - one in mixed media and the other in jewelry and gold design.)

Next morning was Christmas which was the traditional unwrap gifts, eat breakfast, fix dinner, etc, a family time that was actually pretty low stress.  Christmas dinner is always a problem as I'm tired of cooking and servings etc and get totally stressed about getting dinner on the table.  This year I fixed boliche (cuban pot roast) which made my husband happy, but I served it with mashed potatoes and green beans, which made my father happy.  A win-win!  and boliche is so easy.  You just season it, brown the eye of round, and pop it in a pot with wine, tomato sauce and bay leaves, and let it slowly simmer.  I'm keeping that as my new Christmas tradition.

Son and lovely girlfriend spent the 26th seeing some of his favorite parts of our area, places that were special to him that he wanted to share.  A family dinner that night and then they were off to a party and they left the next morning.  The visit was too short but just the right length of time.

For New Year's Eve we attended a beautiful wedding downtown.  Actually the wedding ceremony was tasteless and awful (more like a comedy roast than dedicating your life to someone) but the venue was spectacular and the food was a total WIN!  Definitely gets the prize for best appetizers - tuna tartar, baby lamb chops, individual shrimp cocktails, etc.  We danced and ate and had a wonderful time. The view from the reception was quintessential Washington.   Yes, that is the White House with the Washington Monument just behind it.

Now we've put it all away and I'm looking forward to three weeks at the beach.  Things on my to-do list for 2015 include more yoga, more exercise, and cleaning out my linen closets. We'll see how it goes. 

Happy New Year everyone.

When my kids were growing up the rule for dinner was "I fix dinner, you eat dinner. No substitutions."  We didn't allow to the children to fix a peanut butter sandwich if they didn't like what was served or to complain about what was served.  This has now led to a conundrum when they return home and I want to fix meals that they like - I have no idea what they do or don't like to eat!

Taking a breath

I've been plowing my way through my list and am almost done with Christmas shopping, and it's really too early to start cooking so this weekend is when I stop to take a breath.   Some years I've gone to the beach for a long weekend but this year my husband wanted to be there for the boat parade which meant having a party (since we have a spectacular view of the boats from our condo) and I just didn't want to add another activity to my schedule.   I put him on a plane to the beach this morning (he's going to throw the party by himself, chips and dip and beer.  It will be fine.) and then I finished up my last minute chores before I leave tomorrow for Yogaville . I think it will be the perfect interruption in my schedule.  As I explained to a friend, you have no decisions to make for the whole weekend as there are no shops, no restaurants, no activities from which to choose.  You get up to the sound of a violin, do meditation, hatha yoga, eat breakfast, attend a lecture (or not), eat lunch, rest/think/walk/read until you do meditation, hatha yoga and dinner.  After dinner we will have chanting and a short program on Integral Yoga and then it is quiet hours until we start it again the next morning.  It's nice to have this break in the busy.  So until Monday -

Om shanti,shanti,shanti

we end this miserable week with a spot of bitching

This has been cold, wet, miserable week in my part of the country and I have spent large parts of it driving back and forth to my father's house, in and out of his house, in and out of the grocery store, and in and out of appointments for him.  For reasons that I cannot fathom he decided that he wanted all of his routine appointments scheduled before the Christmas holidays so being the dutiful daughter I scheduled them for him as requested. Appointments begat additional appointments - a dental filling, a follow-up at the dermatologist, etc - until we had more than five appointments this week, some days more than one.  In addition, he usually has a ride to and from band practice but this week his friend was not going to the practice so I needed to squeeze that in, too.  Then we had the special "My TV isn't working" visits  - he'd pushed the wrong button - and the "my hearing aid needs batteries" and the "I need bananas" trips.

Today, Friday, was an eye doctor appointment (which begat a follow-up right when I was planning to be in Florida in January so I need to reschedule my trip), then after I returned him home I went to the grocery with his list in hand.  His list was short - apple cider.  I did my shopping and then stopped by his house with his cider.  I knew he would be disappointed since I couldn't find any fresh cider and bought a bottled cider.  I also bought him some egg nog since I know he likes it and since I knew the cider would be disappointing I wanted to do something to make up for it.  It was a fail on both counts. As I pulled the cider out of the bag and explained that the fresh cider was seasonal and apparently the season is over and this was the only cider they had at the store, he made a face and said "That's no good."  I said "I'm sorry.  This is all they had."  He said "That's not real cider".  I said "It isn't apple juice, it says cider on the label."  He said "I don't want it."   OK.  So I put it back into the bag to bring home.  Maybe I'll use it on Noche Buena as a non-alcoholic option.   Next, I said "I thought you might be disappointed in the cider so to make it up to you I bought you some egg nog.  I know you like egg nog."  His reply was "No."  "I said "I thought you liked cider."  and he replied "It's too early.  I don't want it."  So, back into the bag to come home with me. My husband might drink it or I might just pour it down the sink as I've always hated the stuff.  It never occurred to my father that he could have said "Thank you." and then he could pour it down the sink if he didn't want it.   Or that he could have been somewhat more gracious when it was pretty clear that I tried to do something nice, even if it fell a little off the mark.

Next we went through the mail and paid the bills.  As I was leaving I asked him what time he needed me to be back to take him to church tonight.  He said 6:20 pm.  and then I asked what time approximately he thought the program might be over and he said he'd call me.  I asked if he had any idea because I'd like to plan my dinner so as to not be interrupted to pick him up. If he had any idea I could schedule around that.   His response was "I'll call you."  So my Friday night is now not the tapas night my husband and I had planned but it is "waiting around on my father night".

It was a wonderful wedding

Our family weekend in Miami for our niece's wedding was fabulous.  It's hard to not be great when we are all together and have an amazing 41st floor condo with a view of Miami and a spot of water view.  The AirBnb condo was everything as advertised and more and we had plenty of space to be together and large separate bedrooms for each couple.

View looking southwest

 After getting the kids from airports on Friday afternoon and evening we started Saturday with brunch at a nice place within walking distance of the condo. Then Charlie and the children went to visit Viscaya which is a familiy favorite.  Katie has always thought of it as a princess location and Daniel learned to walk during our tour on one visit.  Then back to the condo to prep for the wedding.

Transportation to the wedding was by Uber, my first Uber experience and it was wonderful.  We  got an Uber XL so all six of us could go together.  Much better than a taxi. Actually it is what taxis should be.  The taxi drivers should stop complaining and clean up their act.

Of course we had drama at the wedding.  What wedding would be complete without it?  The caterers had been running on Cuban time and the venue wasn't set up at the appointed hour. Everyone waited around the lobby of the building until they could get it sort of ready for us.  The bride was pissed and throwing a temper tantrum.  Of course, the delay did accommodate those guests who were also running on Cuban time.  The ceremony was short which was perfect because we couldn't understand the officiant in any language.  I actually understood more of his Spanish than English but some of us also thought maybe he was speaking Italian.  We guess they are officially married.

Then the reception!  The drinks flowed, the food was fabulous (although they get a fail on the passed hors d'oeuvres as there were too few, they were all on sticks, and they were generally weird) and the DANCING!  The DJ was great and everyone danced all night long.  Old people, young people, little kids loved the dancing.  One very nice touch was that surrounding the large dance floor were sofas so that the old people could rest or just sit on the sofas and still be part of the dancing and at the end of the evening all the children were asleep on the sofas. A great touch for both the young and old.  

The next day we had to continue to stoke up on Cuban food so we went to lunch at a local Cuban restaurant with some family.  This is a picture of my kids, kids partners, a great-niece and her fiance.  

my children are top and bottom center

A great time with the kids together and my children's partners experiencing the Cuban family.  A wonderful end to our weekend.  

I'm in need of a list

Before retirement my entire life was driven by the calendar and deadlines - calendars for family, children and work, and work deadlines that hit daily, sometimes multiple times each day.  My retirement gift to myself was a watch with just hands, no numbers, since it would now be unnecessary to plan my schedules to the minute, but occasionally I find my life drifting a bit out of control and a list helps ground me.  So...,..,
 
1) Today/tonight - make potato casserole for Friendsgiving tonight Mashed potato casserole was good and very easy do-ahead.  Will make again for T-giving
2) Tomorrow - Daddy to church @ 10 am.  Breakfast to follow.  Maybe take him to Momma's Kitchen?  Nope, he's already objected to that.  After much discussion I fixed breakfast for us at home.  It was fine.
3) Monday - Daddy dermatologist appointment; stop by hearing aid people for new wax baskets
2) Tuesday - hair appointment, then off to threading lady.  Book Club in evening.Added some chores for Daddy in the afternoon.
3) Wednesday - morning eye appointment and pack for wedding. - DONE
4) Thursday - early flight to beach DONE
5) Friday - drive to Miami collecting children along the way Had nice lunch with girls in Ft Lauderdale at a restaurant on the beach.  
6) Saturday, Nov 15 - wedding - Great fun, LOTS of dancing.
7) Sunday -  lunch at Versaillles  Tried a new restaurant within walking distance of condo - Havana 1957.  Terrible waitress, good food
8) Monday - drive back to beach dropping children and husband at airports along the way DONE
9) Tuesday - day at beach - and condo meeting in the evening.  Charlie at home to take daddy out to dinner  Actually cold windy day and I spent it getting the car repaired for the trip home.
10) Wednesday - drive home from beach day#1  Done
11) Thursday - drive home from beach day#2   Done along with a stop at the pharmacy for refills and a trip to the commissary to shop for Thanksgiving
12) Friday - Daddy groceries and errands And took Daddy to his new activity at the Senior Center - a group discussion of Memories of New York City - which is held monthly.
13) Saturday, Nov 22 - Drive to Pennsylvania for family get-together with Charlie's uncle
14) Sunday - Daddy breakfast
15) Monday - shop for Thanksgiving and Daddy dermatologist appointment @ 3:15
16) Tuesday - day off????
17) Wednesday - set table, make sweet potatoes, etc.  Daddy to dentist @11 am
18) Thanksgiving dinner
19) Friday - neighborhood dessert
20) weekend? no activities?  YES!
21) Saturday, Dec 6 - cookie baking day with Clara
22) Dec 10 - send Noche Buena invites
23) Friday, Dec 12 - Sunday, Dec 14 - Yogaville weekend with Judy
24) Monday, Dec 15 - start planning/cooking for Noche Buena - invites must go out earlier?  Get that date on the calendar!
25)  Tuesday, Dec 16 - hair appointment @10:30

Also, need to coordinate Christmas plans with children and get plane tickets for them.  And I have completely ignored the need to decorate the house and put up a tree.  ARGHHHH.  And what about getting the leaves raked?  Why did Adelio return to Central America? (maybe it was the impossible immigration policies??????)  Oh, and I have to reschedule my dental appointment and reschedule daddy's dental appointment.   And I have three large, really large, knitting projects to finish before Christmas!  and maybe buy a few Christmas gifts, too!