Friday, December 05, 2014

we end this miserable week with a spot of bitching

This has been cold, wet, miserable week in my part of the country and I have spent large parts of it driving back and forth to my father's house, in and out of his house, in and out of the grocery store, and in and out of appointments for him.  For reasons that I cannot fathom he decided that he wanted all of his routine appointments scheduled before the Christmas holidays so being the dutiful daughter I scheduled them for him as requested. Appointments begat additional appointments - a dental filling, a follow-up at the dermatologist, etc - until we had more than five appointments this week, some days more than one.  In addition, he usually has a ride to and from band practice but this week his friend was not going to the practice so I needed to squeeze that in, too.  Then we had the special "My TV isn't working" visits  - he'd pushed the wrong button - and the "my hearing aid needs batteries" and the "I need bananas" trips.

Today, Friday, was an eye doctor appointment (which begat a follow-up right when I was planning to be in Florida in January so I need to reschedule my trip), then after I returned him home I went to the grocery with his list in hand.  His list was short - apple cider.  I did my shopping and then stopped by his house with his cider.  I knew he would be disappointed since I couldn't find any fresh cider and bought a bottled cider.  I also bought him some egg nog since I know he likes it and since I knew the cider would be disappointing I wanted to do something to make up for it.  It was a fail on both counts. As I pulled the cider out of the bag and explained that the fresh cider was seasonal and apparently the season is over and this was the only cider they had at the store, he made a face and said "That's no good."  I said "I'm sorry.  This is all they had."  He said "That's not real cider".  I said "It isn't apple juice, it says cider on the label."  He said "I don't want it."   OK.  So I put it back into the bag to bring home.  Maybe I'll use it on Noche Buena as a non-alcoholic option.   Next, I said "I thought you might be disappointed in the cider so to make it up to you I bought you some egg nog.  I know you like egg nog."  His reply was "No."  "I said "I thought you liked cider."  and he replied "It's too early.  I don't want it."  So, back into the bag to come home with me. My husband might drink it or I might just pour it down the sink as I've always hated the stuff.  It never occurred to my father that he could have said "Thank you." and then he could pour it down the sink if he didn't want it.   Or that he could have been somewhat more gracious when it was pretty clear that I tried to do something nice, even if it fell a little off the mark.

Next we went through the mail and paid the bills.  As I was leaving I asked him what time he needed me to be back to take him to church tonight.  He said 6:20 pm.  and then I asked what time approximately he thought the program might be over and he said he'd call me.  I asked if he had any idea because I'd like to plan my dinner so as to not be interrupted to pick him up. If he had any idea I could schedule around that.   His response was "I'll call you."  So my Friday night is now not the tapas night my husband and I had planned but it is "waiting around on my father night".

1 comment:

Hattie said...

I've been there. He hates being old and having to depend on you, but it is not your fault. It is good of you to be there for him. People will tell you he is spoiled, etc. but you will discover that these are the kind of people who neglect the old.
In the long run you will be happy you saw him through this, tough as it seems now. It's one of those noble, thankless things,but you will have a clear conscience in the end, and that is worth gold.
Otherwise, I have no wisdom to impart!