Just let me have a personal bitching moment

We have leaves in our yard.  Lots of leaves.  The entire yard is full of leaves.  You cannot see the brown grass underneath.  There are two schools of though on raking leaves.  Do a little at a time so you never have HUGE amounts to deal with or wait until every last leaf falls and do one enormous leaf job.  My husband subscribes to the wait until the last possible leaf falls philosophy.  I have mixed feelings and probably fall into the middle - do two leaf  clearings with one about halfway through the season and a final one once every leaf is gone.  My husband said he would clear the leaves, since I do all the summer yard mowing, planting and weeding, if I would take the giant leaf sucking machine to be repaired.  I did.  It is repaired and in the shed.  It is enormous and ends up to be so heavy with the now wet leaves that I can barely maneuver it around the yard    But the leaves have been gone from the trees for at least a couple of weeks now, easily before Thanksgiving, and he never got around to sucking them up.  We are now approaching Christmas and I  can no longer stand dragging them into the house with every footstep to say nothing about it makes our lovely home look abandoned.  I made a couple of observations about the leaves.  I moved to a couple of  reflections that he needed to get that job on his schedule.  I continued to using the shame that ours is now the ONLY house in the neighborhood to still have piles of leaves in the yard.  After he said, "I'm going to be giving a flying lesson on Saturday" and the weather forecast for Sunday is rain, I realized that this was NEVER going to get on his schedule. I finally gave in and said "If you'll teach me to get the giant machine started I'll try to do the leaves this week."  I thought that at that he might realize that he really had pushed me too far but instead he replied, "If you pull the machine into the garage today I'll give you a lesson when I get home."

I am considering moving into a condo, without him.

Noche Buena Menu

Guests - 20 - 25

Dinner
Roast pork - purchased cook on Monday
meatballs - make on Sunday
Black beans - make on Sunday
Rice
Yuca and mojo - make on Sunday
Plantains
Bread - go to BJ's

Need some other non-pork main dish - Maybe Chicken and Yellow Rice?  Make it ahead and heat in oven?  MEATBALLS!

Desserts -
cookies,
turron,
guava pastries - buy at BJ's
pudin de pan - started thawing

Appetizers - 
Garlic Mushrooms
Olives - black and green, tuna, anchovy
Salami
Ham spread and crackers - make Sunday
Olive spread - make Sunday
Cheese and crackers
Plantain Chips
guava paste and queso blanco

It's pretty much the same every year,  Maybe I should just link to last years list.

It's time for a list

As the Christmas season gets into full-swing I feel like I'm falling behind.  This year I'm trying to not get insane with the shopping, rethinking, return cycle.  I've tried to just get things that the kids actually want/need and not worry about the "surprise" factor.  I really want to learn how to enjoy Christmas instead of dreading it.  But I feel like I'm approaching a critical period where a list is required to keep things in order.  So, bear with me for the next couple of weeks as I have my countdown.

• Invites for Noche Buena - email and hand deliver.  Get Charlie's guest list.
• Mail girls' packages.  
• Have Daddy sign check and card for mailing.
• Menu for Noche Buena
• Decorate.   Can I get someone to help?  Maybe Sharon would have as much fun with tree decorations a she did with cookies?  Not exactly the activity you'd think to have a Jewish friend help with but maybe she's curious on what she's been missing out on.
• Clean house.  Like really clean, not a lick and a promise.
• Get Charlie to clear the leaves, before you do it yourself and then kill him.  I got the big blower repaired, the least he can do is push it around.
• Order fresh ham on Friday for pick-up on Dec 21st.
• Purchase Dragon Speak on Friday at Exchange - sale starts.order on-line as I was too late  to the sale
• Today!  Buy children's books for bookclub and figure out a finger food to take to Margie's.
• Wrap gifts Still waiting on delivery of a couple but everything in the house is wrapped!
• Tidy D's room
• Will I have time to make 1 more pair of slippers?

Book Recommendation - "The Betrayal" by Helen Dunmore

I love reading, but although I have a Kindle, I prefer books.  And I really prefer used books because I like the idea that they are being shared and enjoyed by many people.  I use paperbackswap.com to acquire and trade most of my books but that means I usually have to wait until what I have requested becomes available in the system.  Sometimes it is weeks and sometimes months before a book I have requested pops up.  "The Betrayal" by Helen Dunmore is such a book.  I remember reading a review one morning and putting in on my request list and then I forgot about it.  Not only did I forget about it, I didn't have any idea what the book was even about by the time I received it. Since I had forgotten why I had wanted to read it it kept getting pushed to the back of the reading list until this week and then I had to stay up late at night reading because I was so engrossed.

"The Betrayal" takes place in 1952 post WWII Leningrad.  The protagonists, who were introduced in an earlier book, "The Siege", have established a life as normal as one could in Russia during Stalin's time.  He is a doctor, she a nursery school teacher and her brother, who is almost young enough to be their child, live in an adequate apartment not shared by other families. They have plenty to eat and they are well respected in their professions  Then the doctor must treat the son of a senior secret police officer.  As a doctor he knows what he must do, as a husband and parent he knows the potential consequences. 

This book was riveting and very well researched.  She brilliantly describes the tension and fear that was part of everyday life.  It acts as a reminder that power and the powerful can do unspeakable things when left unchecked.

I was asked if I planned to read the earlier book, "The Siege", and I think not, because I think I would find it too upsetting given her amazing descriptive and evocative powers.  Does that even make sense that I would NOT want to read a book because it was TOO good?  But you should read "The Betrayal".

homework assignment for this week

I am not a hoarder.  In fact, I'm noted for throwing things away, often things that I later realize that I need.  Once, in a frenzy of cleaning up I threw out my paycheck along with the some junk mail. But despite my tidy tendencies, I have a messy desk with paperwork that needs to be addressed - filed, reviewed and thrown out, sorted and organized.  And I doubt I could lay my hands on my will without going to the county offices where it is registered.  And there are some things I keep for no apparent reason.  It is just when my hand is over the trash can that I hesitate and pull back.  But as I start looking at my father's home through the lens of him moving, or dying, I realize that I need to do far more to get my act together.  Today's column by Michelle Singletary in today's Washington Post should be required reading by everyone, no matter what age or health status.  What a gift her friend gave to her friends...."A promise to a friend" by Michelle Singletary, Washington Post, Sunday, December 2, 2012.

Thanksgiving review

I loved our Ann Arbor Thanksgiving, even if the dinner tasted like school cafeteria food and the turkey was dry.  The company was GREAT!  We went to Ann Arbor to be with the kids and that was all that was important.  Actually, Thanksgiving was our only bad meal and what can you expect when a restaurant is turning out probably over a thousand meals that day.

We arrived in Ann Arbor and found our lovely little VRBO studio apartment.  It was everything it was advertised to be and had even more charm than I expected.   As we arrived the owner was getting out of her car and had fresh croissants and cookies for us and a bottle of wine in the fridge!  It was lovely to have a place to entertain the children and we actually had dinner with the children there two nights - carryout food but a nice environment to sit and talk.

The girls apartment is fine - your standard 1960's garden apartment.  No charm, no storage, but the price is right.  They have tried to decorate and organize but, as mentioned before, they just don't quite get finished.  As long as they are happy it is fine but I did have to keep myself from digging into the kitchen clutter and reorganizing.

One thing that they love about Ann Arbor is the food.  Thanksgiving dinner notwithstanding all our other meals in AA were fabulous - Barrys Bagel's, the Coney Island Diner, the Middle Eastern gyros, the Detroit dog - you'll never go hungry in that town.  And Ann Arbor has everything you need, including a nice downtown filled with cute shops and a wonderful farmer and craft market (think Portland Saturday Market on a manageable scale).

We did a driving tour of Detroit since I had lived there in 1969 and wanted to see my old  house.  Where I  had lived, near Wayne State University, actually looks better than when I was there and my old house has been turned into a high-end bed and breakfast, but the rest of the city is indescribable devastation.  Really, you think you've seen pictures of what it's like?  No, pictures cannot capture the look of a city of such despair.  And the sheer scope and size of it.  Not just one neighborhood of vacant lots, burned homes, falling down buildings, and the occassional occupied home, but miles and miles and miles.  Whole neighborhoods that now have a handful of occupants.  No people, no cars. But the odd thing was that there wasn't any street trash either.  It looked clean, without litter. I guess there are no people left to litter.   I cannot imagine how it can transform into anything.  It looked like a scene out of the TV show "Life After People" on the History channel.  And then in an hour you are back in Ann Arbor which is a charming, amazing, vibrant place.

So now I need to plan another trip, maybe in the spring or summer when it isn't so cold.  And I'll also hope that Katie gets a good offer from UM after this post-doc and they can stay on forever in The People's Republic of Ann Arbor.

of this and of that

I was so caught up in the election, and so relieved when Obama won, that I find myself rather at loose ends. The "Real Housewives and Generals" show is taking up some of my internet time.  It really does read like a reality TV episode, and since apparently there was no actual crime except terminal stupidity and hubris, is great fun.  I do feel so sorry for Holly Petraeus and hope that she has the good sense to sue his ass for divorce, and that she hires a good shark lawyer.

I've spent the last two weeks in Florida, visited family and friends in South Florida and had a bit of fun at the beach.  I visited with a good friend whose husband has established a medical cycle of "could die tonight" and then bounces back to "when he goes to rehab and returns home".  She has been living this nightmare for months as the cycle apparently goes in two week increments.  She is a wreck and another friend and I did an "intervention" to help her establish some sanity in this insanity.  A person cannot live in "high alert" mode indefinitely.  I think we helped her ask some local friends for help and that we got her to see that she has to accept this craziness as her "new normal" and establish her personal schedule that gives her some time to regroup and refresh.  I think that we did some good but I'm certain she'll need a refresher course before long.

Now back home and getting ready to head to the girls for Thanksgiving.  Although we are staying in a privately owned studio apartment that I found on VRBO they are planning meals (think restaurants, not them cooking), and outings.  I like that they want to show off their new city to us as it means that they are finally settling in to their new life.  And son is joining us there so we will all be together!

It seems odd not to be planning and cooking Thanksgiving although I can't say that I'm disappointed in the least.  I am trying to get everyone to understand the need for new traditions, or at least not holding on hopelessly to old traditions that no longer meet your needs. 

So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.